Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Walnut Woes (Monologue by Sadhika Menon)


I heard “it” calling on me early in the morning. The only thing that annoys me more than the constant beeping phone sounds is its ugly face mocking me, waiting for me to join the long list of worshippers it has. Why don’t they let me be, why do they force me to like it, revere it like some sort of a higher power? Why has it become a fucking blanket rule to make a big deal about it? Do I even matter in this world anymore? Thinking all of this I take the damned thing in my hand. I have been waiting to give it a piece of my mind. I am just going to ignore the constant beeping sound my phone keeps making, for now.

‘You think you are better than me? Everyone makes such a big deal about how good you are for me. I mean they have hyped you so much you have a bloody god-complex you arrogant prick. Why can’t you just wipe those smug lines off your ugly ass face? I mean how is it fair is that all you have to do is break out of a shell and everyone treats you like a miracle. While in the real world I am busting my balls and no one even knows I exist. Again with the look? I will seriously crush you if you don’t fucking cut the cockiness out. Shit goddamn it is 7 am and my phone doesn’t stop beeping. Did you just laugh at my plight? I have to go out and work while you keeping preening at me from your glass house. It is not fair, it is just not fair. I will lose my mind if I haven’t already. I need to end this. I need to end you. Tomorrow you may still be more important than me but at least there will be one less of all of you. I will one day end all of you.’

I take the hammer and end its misery on my kitchen counter. I make my green smoothie and dunk its fucking last remains in it. I fucking gulp that shit down and feel the ugly bastard inside me. My phone buzzes again. God, I better pick up that goddamn phone now.

‘Yes sir, I will have the statistics on the walnut production we made last year on your desk by the end of the day. You can count on me’


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